Stepping Stones







Children with neurobiological disorders often have difficulty staying on

task. Children who are impulsive and have a short attention span can benefit

from supports and accommodations both at home and at school. Impulsive,

easily distracted, lacking focus, they can wallow in failure if we do not

provide the supports they need.







How many times have you told your child to, "Please go clean your room"? An

hour later you are probably saying once again, "Go clean your room". And

then later, "Go clean your room!!" This seems to be the most common parent

complaint I hear, over and over. "He (or she) won't clean his (or her)

room." Perhaps looking at the problem in a different way could make life a

little easier.







Children who have difficulty in breaking down tasks usually catch only the

first part of a directive.or the tail end. and forget everything in between..

They benefit from having tasks broken down into small chunks. For instance,

if you tell you child to get ready for bed, you are likely to go into his

room some time later and find him playing with the first toy that crossed

his path. But if you tell him to go brush his teeth, challenging him to

beat the buzzer, he may see the chance for a game, competing against the

buzzer. Just the thought of a buzzer may provide an "axis" to stay focused..

Then perhaps ask your child to, "Put on your pajamas". Then perhaps, "I'll

help you put your toys away. Then we can have storytime".







One mom uses a series of bins for toys. She tells her young child to put

the blue toys in the blue bin. After that is done, she tells him to put the

red toys in the red bin, etc. She found that this was something her child

could accomplish, as long as she was there with him. Over time, as he grew

in ability, he accomplish the next step. "Put your toys in their bins. "

Now they are working on her withdrawing from the bedroom as he becomes more

able to complete the task without getting distracted.







I like to think of this learning process as building a pathway with many

small stepping stones, rather than some large stepping stones set farther

apart. Some children might bound across the space between the larger

stones. Others cannot cover the same space in one step. A child with

organizational difficulties requires many small steps to cover the same

distance. Each step means progress albeit in smaller measure. Sure it will

take longer and mean more effort, but in time the same distance is covered.







Parents offering to partner with tasks can be comforting to a child. Just

having an adult nearby seems to serve as a focusing tool. This works well

both at home and at school as long as it is a supportive tool and not a

punitive tool.







A child with a disability usually demonstrates uneven performance. On some

days a child may accomplish a lot. On other days, more than one task at a

time may result in overload. We just have to accept the fact that on some

days there may take one step forward and two steps back. Other days we may

see two steps forward. That is just how it is with disabilities.







As a child grows older, academic and social school expectations are

automatically higher in each grade level. By the third grade, some of our

kids simply cannot keep up with some of the expectations. Incompetence is

sometimes equated with noncompliance, sloppiness, and being lazy. Breaking

down and completing complex tasks, navigating time frames, and completing

acceptable assignments are equated with being "responsible". We need to

work with the school to differentiate between weaknesses that need support

and remediation, and the definition of noncompliance.







It is important to bring stepping stone needs to the attention of your child's

school. Otherwise, a child may be viewed as lazy, uninterested, and

downright noncompliant. This in turn can lead to low self esteem, a sense

of hopelessness, and eventually unacceptable behaviors resulting from

frustration and repeated failures.







The path to success may be longer for the child who has a disability. But he

has a right to travel that longer path all the way to success.







If you have ideas that have worked for you we would love to have you share

them with us on our blog.











Judy Bonnell

Sensory Integration
Problems





From an early age, our son fussed about how his shoes felt. They were too

hard. They were laced too tight. They were not laced tight enough. They

were too big. They were too little. If we walked into a busy, noisy mall or

restaurant, he would freak out, bouncing "off the walls", so to speak. He

would become terribly agitated, angry, and uncontrollable. To all

appearances, this was just another demonstration of willful disobedience.



We all came to dread the shopping-for-school-clothes day. I dreamed of

being able to wear an umpire's vest and mask into the dressing room. Jeans

had to be tried on, as invariably they never felt "right". We went through

the entire kid's section trying to find the "right" pair. Taking clothes to

try on at home was not an option, as we would have needed a moving van.

Invariably, we ended up with an angry, agitated, miserable kid. Solutions

were hit or miss, trial and error.



We learned to watch for a pattern of irritable behaviors. We tried to

identify the triggers. We learned to avoid malls at busy times of the year,

after he finally screamed out, "I can't stand the noise." If we walked into

a noisy restaurant and our son headed for the door, we knew that the noise

was actually painful to our son's ears.



Then help arrived in the form of Dockers, and Velcro closures on shoes. We

marveled at the relief our son showed at such simple inventions. Only much

later did I learn about sensory integration disorder.



Many children are irritated by labels in clothing, by overheating, by

feeling too cold, or by certain fabrics. Some children simply cannot handle

any kind of layered clothing. Others may be bothered by certain scents or

any scent at all. Hot may feel cold. Cold may feel hot. A child may go for

a long time without eating, then suddenly be frantic for food. Sometimes

their systems seem to only identify what appear to be extremes.



One of our daughters, has had a lifetime aversion to bright lights. Being

what I considered a responsible parent, I would fuss about how she was

damaging her eye sight if she did not read by a bright light. Now I

understand more damage would have been done if she had followed my advice.

Also, all her life she has had an extreme sensitivity to loud noise. She

has to have the TV or radio on at as low a volume as possible. A radio five

blocks away that no one else really hears causes her distress.



Such sensitivities need to be identified and accommodations made to minimize

their impact. The only real way to do that is to partner with your child,

be sensitive to such sensory issues, identify them through dialogue, and

reduce their impact as much as possible. Just showing your child you care

by inviting such discussion can relieve some of the irritability. For your

child is looking to you for support and help.



If your child has an IEP, consider listing any sensory issues. Compare what

goes on at home with any comparable problem at school. For instance, a

child who becomes overheated while running the home vacuum cleaner may

demonstrate behavior at school resulting from becoming overheated during

gym. Look for the links. Consider asking for accommodations you believe

would reduce the negative impact. Discussing and partnering to identify

sensory problems can make life simpler both at home and at school.



Whether a child has sensory integration disorder, or whether such problems

are part of ADHD, Asperger's Syndrome, autism, or other disorders, is best

left to the experts. But for parents, the important thing is to recognize

such sensitivities are real, are to be respected, and accommodations made

both at home and at school to reduce their impact.



These sensitivities are not necessarily outgrown. They can be with a person

throughout the life span. Our daughter, now grown with her own family, still

lives with dimmed lights, and suffers from heightened sound sensitivity. Our

son totally avoids certain restaurants, and avoids malls. We respect and

accommodate their unique sensory needs.



Judy Bonnell

 

Years ago, a child psychologist recommended a little book to me. It is called ADD: A Different Perception, by Thom Hartmann. She said it was a really positive way to look at some of strengths and weaknesses of our children who have ADHD.  I found it applicable not only to children, but also to adults.  While the little book certainly way oversimplifies people by lumping them into one of two categories, it is an interesting concept, helpful in understand our hunter type children. The following is my personal interpretation of the book.

 

As I have presented to groups, it has been interesting to see the reactions of individuals when I mention the hunters and the farmers.  Some people identify with one or the other type almost immediately. On at least one occasion, the concept led to life altering action by an adult entrepreneur in the audience. He had felt he was a failure because he became bored after a few years with any one business, even if that business was successful.  Subsequently, he went into an entirely new field and seems very content improving the lives of children.

 

If we think about the strengths of the hunter we see a need for quick decision making, and fleetness of mind as well as fleetness of foot.  Strong hunters can monitor the entire landscape while pursuing a prey.  If the prey suddenly changes direction, or if a more accessible prey suddenly appears on the scene, the gifted hunter can change tactics and direction without a second thought. 

 

Hunters crave action and novelty.  Perhaps this explains why Daniel Boone was never able to stay home and farm, but was always on an adventure exploring the new frontiers.

 

Hunters do not do well with repetitive workÂ….(or waiting in line). They are creative and innovative, and always looking for a different way to do something.  They tend to be impulsive and can changed direction in an instant.  They tend to be global thinkers, not compartmentalized thinkers. They are short on patience, long on physical and mental activity, and love excitement.

 

Farmers generally like more routine, detailed work, and generally do not crave so much variety.  They seem to have more compartmentalized minds.  They can handle more detailed and repetitive work.  While the hunter can hyper focus on details when something is of high interest to him, that ability wanes when the interest or novelty wears off. They have great difficulty attending to tasks that do not interest them.  This is often not a matter a choice, but a reflection of an actual need for variety.

 

Farmers and hunters are smart to partner together.  Each has his own strengths to complement the other.  One example is a high powered law firm, who has the hunters sitting at the courtroom table, and their farmer partners doing a lot of the ground work and detailed paperwork in the background.  Each needs the others.

 

Hunters are best at task sprinting, while farmers are better with the long haul. Hunters must work at pacing themselves.

 

I am a hunter. We have a grown daughter who is a farmer. I am what I would call a global thinker. Our daughter loves her accounting job, and amazes me with her ability to compartmentalize and spot errors.

 

Together we have a genealogy site.  She can pick out who-in-one-generation does not link with someone-supposedly-in-another-generation, who has it right on the internet and who does not, and who-is-a-cousin-twice-removed-through-Aunt-Jennie, etc. I am lost after my grandparentsÂ' generation. 

 

On the other hand, I believe my lack of so many compartments in my brain enables me to be an innovative and creative visionary.  I handle the website graphics and design.  I love researching life in the early pioneer days, envisioning what it must have been like for our ancestors.  She handles all the compartmentalized information regarding the family tree. Together we make a great team.

 

We also have a very bright daughter who went into teaching some years back.  She loved the teaching part, but found coping with the system very stressful. She realizes now that the organizational requirements and repetitive paperwork did not play to her strengths. 

She is, by the way, a strong hunter type whose job tended to spotlight the weaknesses in the areas of organization, planning ahead, demands of repetitive tasks.

 

A wise hunter will select a career that will play to his or her strengths.  A hunter should also know that it is not at all unusual to have a number of careers throughout a lifetime.  Changing careers can be a reflection of the need for variety, novelty, and growth, which sustains a hunterÂ's passion and interest in what he or she is doing, at work or at play.

 

It does not matter which type you are, be it a hunter or a farmer.  One is not superior over the other. Each type has its strengths.  Each type has its weaknesses. Farmer and hunters can partner successfully in many areas, including business or marriage. 

 

 As we analyze the concept we realize that the typical classroom setting is not a hunter friendly environment.  It is a farmer oriented environment.  Such a setting may require accommodations and/or modifications, as well as instructional flexibility for our hunter children to succeed.

 

Judy Bonnell

 

Back to School

 

This month is the month when our thoughts and our children return to school.  School supplies are purchased, backpacks are ready, and hopes are high for smooth sailing.  Now is the time to carefully prepare for any special needs your child might have.

 

IEPs

If there is an IEP, a plan is already laid out for school services.  This plan should reflect your active participation in the IEP process of planning your childÂ's education.

 

Record Keeping

It is important for parents to carefully organize both school records and medical records.  If you are a highly organized person, you will probably use a three ring binder, carefully planned and scripted dividers, page holders, tabs, etc. And you will diligently and methodically file everything as soon as you get it.  Then there is the rest of us.

 

If you are not a highly organized person, such as Â"moiÂ", the task can still be accomplished fairly simply.  Even though I no longer have special needs kids at home I continue the method I concocted during those years to Â"organizeÂ" my records. Back then, I utilized manila envelopes, those that hold standard size paper.  Each envelope is marked with a title, such as Â"IEPSÂ", Â"EvaluationsÂ", Â"CorrespondenceÂ", Â"Medical RecordsÂ".  It is no big deal to slip papers into these envelopes.  Even if they donÂ't get sorted further, it is a highly effective way to get your hands on the records you need right away, as you can neatly stack one envelope atop another in a desk drawer.  And records are a parentÂ's best friend. 

 

Copies of Records

You are entitled to a copy of your childÂ's school records, special education and any other records that pertain to your child. If your child has been in school for several years you no doubt now possess a smudged, hard to read carbon type copy of former IEPs.  Your copy should be just as durable and permanent as the schoolÂ's copy.  You can request a Â"white copyÂ" of the schoolÂ's Â"whiteÂ" or original copy.  If you decide to ask for a white copy, you might take some of the old ones to school to show their present condition.

 

Schools keep many records pertaining to your child, whether he is named on them or not.  There are classroom cum files, office records, attendance records, permission slips, report cards, disciplinary slips, etc.  Many parents are unaware that they have the right to examine all of their childÂ's records, and when necessary have copies of those records. 

 

It can be helpful to occasionally ask to see all your childÂ's records, to be sure you and the school have identical records.  This fosters good communication and can prevent misunderstandings in the future. 

 

Communication

Good communication is key in any relationship, including your relationship with  teachers and any other personnel who may be interacting with your child, particularly if there are any behavioral needs.  Unstructured time periods, such as the lunch room, hallway passing, before and after school, are often difficult for some children to successfully navigating day after day.  It is best to be proactive, alert to any incidents.  If there appears to be a pattern of incidents, you can request a meeting to consider accommodations that would enable your child to be successful in those settings.

 

So off to school we go, prepared to sort out those unsorted records in a way that works for us, individually, as parents.  And we will be proactive in recognizing issues that need attention and intervention before they get out of hand, keep documentation of such issues, and utilize lines of communication as soon as there is a need.  Your teachers and your school will appreciate your being proactive, involved, and well informed.