Stepping Stones







Children with neurobiological disorders often have difficulty staying on

task. Children who are impulsive and have a short attention span can benefit

from supports and accommodations both at home and at school. Impulsive,

easily distracted, lacking focus, they can wallow in failure if we do not

provide the supports they need.







How many times have you told your child to, "Please go clean your room"? An

hour later you are probably saying once again, "Go clean your room". And

then later, "Go clean your room!!" This seems to be the most common parent

complaint I hear, over and over. "He (or she) won't clean his (or her)

room." Perhaps looking at the problem in a different way could make life a

little easier.







Children who have difficulty in breaking down tasks usually catch only the

first part of a directive.or the tail end. and forget everything in between..

They benefit from having tasks broken down into small chunks. For instance,

if you tell you child to get ready for bed, you are likely to go into his

room some time later and find him playing with the first toy that crossed

his path. But if you tell him to go brush his teeth, challenging him to

beat the buzzer, he may see the chance for a game, competing against the

buzzer. Just the thought of a buzzer may provide an "axis" to stay focused..

Then perhaps ask your child to, "Put on your pajamas". Then perhaps, "I'll

help you put your toys away. Then we can have storytime".







One mom uses a series of bins for toys. She tells her young child to put

the blue toys in the blue bin. After that is done, she tells him to put the

red toys in the red bin, etc. She found that this was something her child

could accomplish, as long as she was there with him. Over time, as he grew

in ability, he accomplish the next step. "Put your toys in their bins. "

Now they are working on her withdrawing from the bedroom as he becomes more

able to complete the task without getting distracted.







I like to think of this learning process as building a pathway with many

small stepping stones, rather than some large stepping stones set farther

apart. Some children might bound across the space between the larger

stones. Others cannot cover the same space in one step. A child with

organizational difficulties requires many small steps to cover the same

distance. Each step means progress albeit in smaller measure. Sure it will

take longer and mean more effort, but in time the same distance is covered.







Parents offering to partner with tasks can be comforting to a child. Just

having an adult nearby seems to serve as a focusing tool. This works well

both at home and at school as long as it is a supportive tool and not a

punitive tool.







A child with a disability usually demonstrates uneven performance. On some

days a child may accomplish a lot. On other days, more than one task at a

time may result in overload. We just have to accept the fact that on some

days there may take one step forward and two steps back. Other days we may

see two steps forward. That is just how it is with disabilities.







As a child grows older, academic and social school expectations are

automatically higher in each grade level. By the third grade, some of our

kids simply cannot keep up with some of the expectations. Incompetence is

sometimes equated with noncompliance, sloppiness, and being lazy. Breaking

down and completing complex tasks, navigating time frames, and completing

acceptable assignments are equated with being "responsible". We need to

work with the school to differentiate between weaknesses that need support

and remediation, and the definition of noncompliance.







It is important to bring stepping stone needs to the attention of your child's

school. Otherwise, a child may be viewed as lazy, uninterested, and

downright noncompliant. This in turn can lead to low self esteem, a sense

of hopelessness, and eventually unacceptable behaviors resulting from

frustration and repeated failures.







The path to success may be longer for the child who has a disability. But he

has a right to travel that longer path all the way to success.







If you have ideas that have worked for you we would love to have you share

them with us on our blog.











Judy Bonnell